He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
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