I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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