so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
