You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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