Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Your penis caused this!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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