So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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