Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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