I think I died a long time ago.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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