I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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