I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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