well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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