dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
