Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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