do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
If I die, sorry about rent.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize