Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I am naked and annoyed.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
