Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
