one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
