May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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