Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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