Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
