ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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