Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
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