Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
