it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
