Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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