guys are not supposed to queef...right?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
