i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
