Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
