You can't special order awesome
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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