On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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