So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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