Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
