She's JV to your varsity
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
