i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
