Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
