i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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