Dual....:-)
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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