Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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