Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
When did angry sex become our thing?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
