i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
