and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
