I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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