Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I think I just sharted jello shots
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