Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize