If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
