Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
