It's Friday. Sex?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
