remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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