Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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