I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
