used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
