He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
