Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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