some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
