She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
