I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
