laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
