I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Less talking, more tequila
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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