highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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