Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

I want your puppy

(507): View more from Minnesota

I meant pussy

(612): View more from Minnesota

I would rather you take my puppy

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.

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(757): View more from Virginia

He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat

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(949): View more from California

I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.

(702): View more from Nevada

It's like the whiskey god was watching over you

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(408): View more from California

I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

FORGET THE EYEBROWS

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