So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Sext me about skeletons
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
