Fuck appropriateness.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
